Contagious Joy With Donna Sanchez

Ug. It’s funny that I posted what I did this morning because let me tell you, I’ve been so hard on myself today!

Many days my ADHD feels like a superpower. I hyper focus like nobody’s business and I get things done! I accomplish A LOT some days. Some days I accomplish a lot and simultaneously waste a lot of time. Sometimes I just feel like I wasted the whole day running in mindless circles.

My brain is busy. When my brain is busy and I have a lot to accomplish, I add in lots of stupid time wasting junk which further busies my brain.

And when my brain is busy I either talk, text, or post too much. Then when I realize that I am doing those things, I feel like I’m annoying. Then when I feel like I’m annoying I want to get rid of my phone and computer so that I’m limited to paper which is where I should just put all these thoughts anyways so nobody else has to see them.

My brain is then occupied with ways of limiting myself, which is where the idea for my month of silence came in. I want to get rid of my smart phone and get a dumb phone. That would slow down all my social media stuff significantly.

Then I pep talk myself out of hating on myself and remind myself I’ve got stuff to accomplish. That’s where I’m at now. Time to unload the da’gum groceries, get food prepared and head to CR.

I believe I took my ADHD medicine this morning, knowing I’ve been especially all over the place, but if I did, it didn’t help.

A couple days after January, the Lord woke me at 2:15am, His favorite time to talk to me with this message that I believe was intended for me, but also for me to share:

            Hey Mama!  Quit being so dag’gum hard on yourself!  If people don’t wanna hear your voice, they can go in another room. If God wanted you to be a mute, you’d be mute.  He doesn’t. He gave you a voice and a heart after Him.  Use it for His glory. 

            Stop lamenting your crazy ADHD brain, your impulsive nature and your distain for the ordinary. Remember that you can’t be ordinary and extraordinary at the same time. 

            Stop worrying that you’re going to be found annoying if you allow yourself to fully be yourself.  You’re gonna annoy the snot out of some people just because they would secretly give their left arm to be free, to be real and to be vulnerable enough to be who God created them uniquely to be.

            Do you and do it with freedom and joy!  In doing so, inspire other mamas to admit that like you, they can go from “I’m killing it as a mom” to “my kids would be better off without me in 2.5 seconds.”

            Inspire them to believe more for themselves and their families than they ever have before.  Help them understand that the conflict, the struggle, the fight to raise Godly kids is real!  We are fighting not only our sin nature and the sin nature of our children, but the sinful generation we are raising them in.  

            Never stop learning and growing as a mama or as a person. Always strive to be a little better today than you were yesterday.  Strive with all your heart, resting in peace at night believing that today, you did the best you knew how and for now, that’s good enough.  You’re good enough. 

            You’re good enough to parent these kids.  You know how I know?  Out of all the humans on earth, God placed their soul into a body you were placed in charge of.  They may be your kids legally, but eternally, they are His kids first.  Do right by Him!

            Thank God for the awesome responsibility He entrusted you with when He placed His kids in your care.  Ask Him for wisdom and the Bible promises your cup will overflow.  He will provide you with everything you need to raise His kids if you honor Him with your life and resources.  

            And don’t be like the waves of the sea, tossing and turning on God when you don’t understand His will.  He loves you and your kids more than you ever could.  Don’t doubt Him just because your journey isn’t paved with cupcakes and rainbows. 

            Jeremiah 29:11-13 tells you God has a plan for you (and your kids) that is for your good, and not to harm you.  To give you hope and a future, but in order to find Him, you’ve gotta seek Him with all your heart.”

            Don’t let the cares of this life and the pressure of this day distract you from the fact that this life is a blink and it’s over. Live your life and love in light of eternity and quit sweating the small stuff….as Richard Carlson says, it’s all cotton pickin’ small stuff.

OK. So obviously I’ve been working on an attitude adjustment about the inordinate amount of time I spend driving 45 minutes to well over an hour each way for Gracious to play water polo….mostly because I’m a doer. When I’m not driving, I accomplish A LOT. I’m not accomplishing much these days. Just lots of commuting.

Tonight the girls and I were driving back from my brother’s birthday party at Buck Creek State Park. Gracious was texting her BFF Harmony in Utah, and belting out songs from “Hamilton” and Bea was quietly drawing in the backseat.

Because I can’t just think things, I turned off the radio and said “girls, I just can’t tell you how happy this drive has me. I love hearing you sing so joyfully Gracious.” To which she said “ewww, I suck,” and laughed. “And Bea, your art is amazing!” To which she said “wanna see the one I just made?”

These kids are precious. They are beautiful and talented and sweet….and sometimes they make me wanna run for the hills or yell like a banshee…..cause I’m a mom.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the sacrifice of self recently involved in being a good mama. Before children, it was all about you. Your desires. Your goals. Your plans. Your time. Your stuff. Being a good mama takes a lot of that “you” out of the equation.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s incredibly important to hang on to “you” to the best of your ability. It’s super important to make sure your mental, emotional, physical and friendship needs are met. It’s important to have things outside of your kids that you LOVE to do, but when it comes right down to it…a good mama makes some real sacrifices.

Tonight….I’m grateful for every sacrifice I “get to” make. I’m thankful that while working full time, accomplishing and of course getting a pay check sounds incredibly enticing…I’m thankful that my husband is able to support our family so that I am able to take good care of him and the girls.

I’ve got the rest of my life to pursue my goals, but I’ve only got 6.5 years until both my babies graduate high school. I’m thankful that at least for now, I’m in the position to drive, to listen, to advise, to give, to share, to instruct, to discipline and at times, to be the meanest mom in America, because with the Lord’s help, that will lead to the greatest reward a mother could hope to achieve…..to have well balanced, loved children step confidently into adulthood.