Today my brother and his girlfriend we’re moving. Since we got word that my husband would be on the corona ward at the hospital, I told them I thought it would be unwise for us to help. They both have autoimmune issues as do my parents and her parents who all planned to help.

Because this was all getting so serious so fast, both sets of parents (thankfully) bowed out. None of us wanted to risk them getting sick when the likelihood of them beating it was significantly less ours. That left my brother and his girlfriend, both with exhaustion and auto immune issues and my sister and her family to move their three bedroom house.

I came up with a brilliant idea! I would bring my girls, including my new friend who is spending her quarantine days with us so she’s not alone for months on end, with my car and trailer and we would move the garage and outdoor furniture. No one was to hug or hang with us because we were the most likely ones to be carriers.

The normal frivolity of helping family move wasn’t there for us because we tried to stay away from them all completely. We hauled our two loads with my trailer and headed home before they got there with their moving truck.

It was super weird because my parents have never NOT been involved in any move any of us kids have ever made. I missed them. By evening, I just wanted to see their faces in person!

The girls and I drove over and planted a silk flower in the backyard for them to find in the morning and called them from our car to get their attention without standing at the door. My dad answered the phone on speaker phone and Gracious had the brilliant idea to tell him to check his mailbox.

I heard my mom say “Donald, don’t you check that mailbox without your glove,” to which my dad replied “Cathy, I know!” The door opened and out came my dads blue gloved hand to check the box when he saw us. We only visited a couple minutes from ten feet away, but it was so good to see them. The idea of losing them has my eyes welling up with tears as I write. I’m glad they’re taking this all so seriously.

I thought it was bad yesterday when Italy reported over 400 deaths in just one day…I was wrong. Today, there were almost 800 deaths, just in Italy, just today. The world wide death count has exceeded 10,000 but it is believed China has greatly under-reported deaths.

This got me thinking back to where this all started for me. On February 11th, I posted an article on Facebook that said there was a virus in China they just named “Covid-19”. It’s also called the Coronavirus. This virus was really scary. Hospitals were overrun and people were dying. I shared it and this is what I wrote:

“If one of us (humans) hurts, we should all hurt. Really be praying for the people of China. My cousin sent me a video explaining just how massive the death toll and spread of it is. People carry the virus and are contagious for 14 days before they show the first symptom.

Imagine if that was in Beavercreek. It’s not like they could say “if you don’t feel good, stay home.” By the time someone doesn’t feel good, they’ve been spreading it for two weeks.

No room for judgement. No room for fear. No need to worry, cause you can’t prevent it anyways. Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but gets you nowhere. Only room for prayer. Let’s intercede for everyone involved.

Pray for the government of China for wisdom in how to handle this virus. Pray for the American government as they are making decisions in an attempt to keep it from coming to or spreading here.”

Eerie to look back at this post because now it’s here. The first reported case in America was on January 21st in Washington and it seemed we weren’t hearing too much about it. On January 31st, Trump suspended entry into the United States for anyone who had traveled to China in the last 14 days, or had family members travel there. Trump was called a racist.

This is where the whining started up on Facebook. Everyone calling Trump a racist and saying this was just a big political stunt. Conspiracy theories started circulating. There are even LONG videos explaining how it wasn’t an infection from a snake, it was created in a lab to control the population. Also videos circulating about how it’s not a virus at all, but a reaction to the digital 5G signals.

The Facebook complaining was reaching an all-time high and my husband had already warned my parents and siblings to stock up on food, cough medicine and toilet paper because it was coming here. I’ve learned to fall under his leadership (which is such a blessing) in our home and I got ready and insisted my parents did too. Unfortunately he was correct.

February 28th, the United States had it’s first casualty due to the virus in Seattle. Facebook roared “it’s no worse than the flu. The government is overreacting!” I realized that the peace I had in my heart that our sovereign God is still seated on His throne, that He is not surprised by any of this and that He already knows how it ends is not in the hearts of most people.

Without realizing what I was doing, for days I was posting anti-fear, anti-worry, anti-anxiety posts with scripture, along with the fact that I was aware of the seriousness of it all. I was codependantly responding to all of the fear by emotionally reacting with rapid-fired posts. That and as I was recovering from Influenza-A, I had the luxury of laying around with no more energy than it took to read and post on Facebook.

March 3rd, Ohio Governor Mike DeWine banned spectator sports and soon all sporting events and large gatherings were being canceled.

March 13th, Trump declared a national emergency and promised governmental funds to help get families and businesses through this time.

March 15th, the CDC recommended that there be no gatherings of 50 people or more. Governor DeWine ordered sit down restaurants and bars be shut down.

March 16th, DeWine helped set the national agenda by delaying in person voting in the primary’s that were to occur the following day. DeWine got his fair share of shaming on Facebook, while I believed he was doing what was in Ohio’s best interest.

DeWine declared a state of emergency as the state announced its eighth corona case and everyone was like “YOU’RE OVERREACTING.” To this I simply say “people.” Lowercase p and a period. People just don’t know and they speak about what they don’t understand. The people who did understand the seriousness were backlashing against the ignorance of the others.

People started rushing the grocery stores and toilet paper became a hot commodity and the talk of the town! Songs and memes were created about the rush on the toilet paper. Bidet toilet accessories (to spray your butt clean) became a hot commodity.

Dumb buckets….I mean selfish, unthoughtful people…started buying up thousands of bottles of sanitizer and packs of toilet paper with the intention of price gouging. A couple dudes had bought over 14,000 sanitizers and when Amazon and online sellers started blocking people who appeared to be price gouging, they were stuck with 14,000 bottles of sanitizer.

Grocery stores were not just out of toilet paper, scared parents made a run on the diapers and wipes and meat and rice and potatoes and canned veggies. Shelves left and right were barren. I even heard stories of people staking out grocery stores with intentions of robbing the delivery trucks of groceries. We were less than a week into the social isolation period.

Fear. That’s what fear does. It makes people selfish and greedy.

Lots of people are out of work because so many places have closed their doors. Americans are losing a lot of money. This is going to VERY negatively affect our economy but thanks to the quick thinking and willingness to go against public option, I believe Trump and DeWine probably saved a LOT of lives.

As I understand it, they’re not trying to keep us from catching it because it is assumed that up to 80% of Americans will end up with a case of it, even if mild. They are trying to slow the progression so we are not having MASS casualties at overcrowded hospitals.

This past Monday, March 16th was the kids first day off school. Beavercreek is letting the kids have this week off to use up snow days, next week is spring break and the following week, since all the kids in the district have technology, schooling from home will begin.

The original back to school date was named April 6, but I’ve heard the kids will likely not be back to school this school year and quarantine could last through mid-late summer. If that’s what needs to happen to save lives, so be it.

Today is March 22nd, and my husband is on the front lines. I was fairly certain he could use hygiene to prevent it when he was working as a specialist in wound and Ostomy, but two days ago, he was informed he would be spending his days at work running the Corona ward.

He spent ten hours in training yesterday, followed by six hours helping run the floor. Tonight he is co-running the floor for practice and tomorrow night he’ll be flying solo. He used to work a predictable ten hours Monday through Thursday 7am to 5pm. I’m writing this at 1:11am and our house feels empty without him home.

He’s always traveled to referee waterpolo, but that was waterpolo. This feels different. We’re taking all the precautions and treating ourselves as though we’re already infected so we don’t infect others. It’s so odd to not greet him with a kiss or kiss him goodbye.

I have moved a mattress to the craft room and he is sleeping alone in our bed so he can get good rest. No one is allowed to sit in his recliner and no one is allowed to use his bathroom. We are getting his food for him, so he can stay out of the kitchen. I can’t imagine being detached like this for months on end. I feel like he’s working hard and I need to be callused rather than warm with him because we need to assume he’s infected.

We have been home alone as a family. It’s honestly been a precious time this week! When Greg gets home from work, we are able to have dinner together every night of the week without running off to activities and sports. The girls and I are probably more bonded than ever and our new friend who’s been spending the days with us has settled into our family nicely.

I’m treasuring this time of forced downtime. We have daily been practicing instruments, quietly reading together, painting and drawing, cleaning up the yard for the spring and taking care of chores. We’ve gone on bike rides and played Just Dance on the Xbox. We’ve cooked and eaten all our meals together and tackled some projects we just “never had time for.”

This weekend is nice because we said “if you do what you should from 8-4 during the week, evenings are free time with electronics and weekends you can sleep in and go to bed late.” Gives us something to look forward to.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that living in fear and worrying isn’t going to change what the future will hold, it will only rob us of today. Today…..the precious gift that we should never squander because we know that we may not have another today tomorrow.

This uncertainty about the future I believe is a gift! (Not one that any of us would have ever chosen and if we could buy our way out of it I’m sure we all would.) It is a gift, none the less. We are all afforded the opportunity to face the life we’ve been living, the things we considered priorities and to imagine a life without our loved ones.

The fact has always been that none of us are promised tomorrow, but this is causing many to face that fact square in the eyes. What if this is it? What if this is your last week to make things right with your loved ones and friends? Do you have the courage to do it?

What if this is the last chance you’ll get to snuggle your kids into bed, pray with them and talk about their day? Will you waste it?

What if this is the last opportunity you’ll have to let your extended family know how much they mean to you? If you die, will they know?

What if this is your last opportunity to choose a relationship with God before you meet Him in person? Will He say “welcome home” or “I never knew you?”

Rather than live these days of quarantine in fear and anxiety, why not spend them in quiet self-reflection? If you survive this pandemic, will your life look the same after? Will your priorities look the same? Mine won’t. From the outside looking in….maybe a little, but from the inside looking out….I won’t be the same.

PS I’ll share all the fun stuff we’ve been up to in another post on another day. Now it’s 2:32am. Gonna send my hubby a love note and head to bed.

How can you show love when the governor of your state and the president of your country has you quarantined to your home? You can’t even leave your house.

How can you show love when you used to live paycheck to paycheck and now you are not allowed to work for weeks or months at a time?  You don’t know how you’re going to keep your head above financial waters, how can you give to anyone else?

How can you love or encourage another when you are full of anxieties and fears yourself? 

Fight your fears with God’s word.  And as you speak God’s word over your own situation, speak His word over the situations of people around you.  

Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Darn right each day has enough troubles of its own!  Someday, this pandemic will pass.  It’s a new thing for our country to experience this level of lockdown. We are all in uncharted waters and that’s scary.  When you think of the phrase uncharted waters, that’s when a ship is out to sea in an area that doesn’t have a map because people haven’t been there before.  Sound like where we’re at?  

Not as a last resort, but as a first stop, we should pray.  The Lord’s Prayer is a really good scripture to focus on in unsure times. 

Matthew 6:5-15 

⁵ “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. ⁶ But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. ⁷ And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. ⁸ Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

⁹ “This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
¹⁰ your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹ Give us today our daily bread.
¹² And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³ And lead us not into temptation, 
    but deliver us from the evil one.’

¹⁴ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵ But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

After you’re done praying “Your will be done…” how do you come to terms with what’s going on in the world around you being a part of that will, even when it all seems so wrong?  I love to mentally rehearse the full serenity prayer as we recite every week at Celebrate Recovery. 

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;
taking, as Jesus did,
this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it;
trusting that You will make all things right
if I surrender to Your will;
so that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

Reinhold Niebuhr

OK, so now that we’re on the same page.  We’re taking our concerns to God, praying His will be done and accepting this sinful world as it is and not as we would have it…now what?  Still don’t see how you could love people during this time?  Still think you’ve got nothing to offer anyone?  Let’s take a look at that. 

Proverbs 3:27 “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.”

Maybe you can’t give the gift of your physical presence.  Maybe you can’t give anyone food or toilet paper. Maybe you can’t help people make sure their bills are paid.  Maybe you can’t give anyone a hug, or a high-five or a fist bump.  Maybe like my family, with my husband working in the hospital setting, you can’t offer a spot on your couch without possibly also offering the virus which hasn’t yet presented symptoms. Maybe because you have a family member in healthcare, you can’t in good conscious offer to babysit.  Maybe you’re the one at risk because of age or pre-existing conditions. Maybe you can’t risk exposure. 

Don’t focus on what you don’t have to offer!  Let’s take a look at some good I’ve seen people around me doing that is within their power to do.

• Don’t just be IN the house with your family, be WITH your family.  Play a game, watch a movie TOGETHER.  Cook a meal TOGETHER.  Fix something TOGETHER.  Toss a ball.  Paint. Do yardwork together. 
• My daughters wanted to paint but we had no black paint.  My neighbor loaned her some paint
• Pray for specific people by name each and every night.  It may sound minor, but if they know someone is praying specifically for them, they may feel less alone. 
• A friend told me there is a desperate need for help with shelter animals.  It’s worse than usual because shelters are closed and the animals have no respite. You could make a world of a difference in a dog or cat’s life and be entertained by them. In the Dayton Area you can check on:
  • https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fhsdayton.org%2Fhow-to-help%2Ffoster-program%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR25IU86zwAbGCyfKWO-6WHIK-hqtgURCBrxW2_uZFlS09EmTD_rZvb7dqA&h=AT3xl81FWdTXIwRFrP_56pGoWDyLRPRuDFRW03ltHmZTNc2PpNu5L9f1gr4vZxsK6uKxCI7ozkLoUXxIExUurOTQwNlLX5zLUkmbr4yyA7R_CgbLauQSOZExoXsh1iZtuuwxF2ftcA
  • https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fpawpatroldayton.com%2Ffoster%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR176aCaUShfB6vu95LBg6iNAZDN7IsiFM98C0ss00VRoJtacb_fejeEsqY&h=AT3qQTs8M88ryIdhcltZWkBL_AI133BHfAwXrpaFEumWN0uNlchG4qLlf_ipBaU2kYcmhRwWZF7r3IcF4mOQ2jw2c0hX6KGU1nyRdJCaIkdHq9oX8BVoAWvJxo8JfG0Ef-6q2MaCvw
  • https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.sicsa.org%2Fvolunteer%2Ffoster%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR0rGEnF_bWiuihEyeAnNkoguxgulD5eXnzUrsUAIDaC6c0GvYjFbmJHPQE&h=AT0zcO_NSs72fnS-ocQQLDX5CuYhn_Pb342JdsNWqKerputZbzxkqPrYTHEYl5-Jp3gCKgw1naCxjQA4qqwgIfR5641JfqE4CzUJDg15jof_Nsst0uFn_S6fUueU8FrOO_TWiFrINw
• My daughter’s friend asked if she could borrow our Nintendo Switch.  You could loan toys out or swap stuff for a while. 
• Most of us have a TON of books that we’ve already read, let others borrow from you in absence of the libraries.
• Being present on the phone with someone who is having a hard time, even though you can’t physically be with them. 
• Nursing home, sit outside the window on the phone so they know they’re not forgotten. 
• Reaching out to older people who you know live alone. 
• If you NEED to go to the store, ask older people in your life if you could pick something up for them. 
• If you’re healthy after two weeks and staying isolated, cook a meal for a shut-in or a family with medical needs or small children. 
• Reach out to your neighbors.  You can sit with lawn chairs 6 feet from each other and shoot the breeze without hugs, high-fives and physical touch.  You can all sanitize your hands and pass a football.
• Send cards.  The post office is still delivering mail.  You can buy stamps at a grocery store and put your mail in a blue mailbox even if the post office isn’t open. 
• Offer to do yardwork for an elderly neighbor.  You don’t have to interact to work on their yard. 
• My daughters often coach other kids through when they’re struggling especially in math. A lot of kids will be doing school from home. If you hear of a child who is struggling in an area your kid is great at, offer for them to tutor over Facetime.  

(I don’t offer to tutor kids because as the famous game show asks, no.  I am not smarter than a fifth grader….but my kids are.)

• Go to a field and pick up litter.  Make your neighborhood better while you’ve got the time and energy to do so. 
• Take a nature hike with friends and just stay a minimum of 6 feet from each other.  Be together alone.  Meet at a park and sit at different tables with food you each bring for yourselves. 
• Join online support groups either for yourself or because you have overcome something and you can offer support. 
• Be kind.  Assume the best about people.  I have a friend who has 6 children and two in-laws living with her.  There are 10 people in the house.  She buys 6 gallons of milk, 10 loaves of bread and a ton of toilet paper every week.  She ALWAYS requires two carts.  People gave her dirty looks and made really mean comments at the store thinking she was stocking up for the apocalypse. She will need to do the same thing next week which is the same thing she did the week before that.  Don’t assume people are being greedy.  Some are, but many are not. 
• Don’t share hyped up fear information on social media.  People are losing their sobriety and mental health over it.  If you share information, make sure that it is accurate, informative and balanced….not promoting fear. 

I love this quote by Mandy Hale “A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings.  Remember that next time you feel alone.”  Find ways to view this time with gratitude.  For my family, this time is helping to center us and refocus our priorities on bonding as a family.  

For me, I am realizing that the world will go on, even if I’m not running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to love and serve people.  People will be just fine without me.  What I offer is just a little extra icing on their life’s cake!  I’m encouraging you to put a little extra icing on someone else’s cake, even in stressful times like these.  I promise you’ll get more than the one who receives your kindness!

Urgent. I used to live with a constant sense of urgency about a lot. Not anxiety, just a constant drive to do an accomplish and be. On February thirteenth I got Influenza A, the flu. I was sick for about two weeks then my cough subsided and I started feeling better. By March sixth I was so exhausted I was tripping on my own feet, and by March tenth my legs collapsed under me and I decided to go to my doctor.

My symptoms looked like Post-Viral Fatigue which could last up to six months causing extreme exhaustion, fatigue and weakness or Guillian-Barre which can paralyze you from your feet all the way to your diaphragm and lungs and can take six months to two years to recover from. I reached out for prayer. I didn’t have time for either one.

Time. Time is a funny thing really. We all get the same allotment yet somehow we often feel that there’s just not enough of it.

Priorities. Priorities are tough because we live in a society that promotes and encourages being well-rounded and involved in a lot. We are driven. For me, most of my priorities are somewhat altruistic. I care for other people. At my core, that’s a big part of who I am.

When your priorities all feel urgent, time begins to feel like a scarcity.

Corona. COVID-19. This coronavirus is really putting urgency, time and priories up for personal evaluation. We have all been so concerned about our kids being well-rounded that we have created impossible schedules of toting, packing snacks, volunteering, getting the pictures, getting the uniforms and spirit wear. I was already mentally planning swim and waterpolo season, gearing up for the crazy. That’s canceled for the spring.

For me as someone who acts as though, but knows in her head it’s not true, that people need me….my personal beliefs are being put to the test. People will be OK without me. My presence, my assistance and my time is a gift that many appreciate, but don’t need. Why is it so hard to understand that when I am able to help?

Yesterday my family sat at the dining room table for a family meeting. Understanding we will be together with no outside activities for 3-8+ weeks we decided to create a family schedule for weekdays so we all know what to expect. The only part the girls don’t like is no sleeping in Monday through Friday, just on the weekends. My 14 year old even typed it up so we can check it off as we do it.

Today was our third day of social distancing and our first missed school day from the corona. My husband went to work at the hospital as usual and I prayed a hedge of protection over him. My girls and I had a quiet breakfast. They practiced piano and guitar for an hour while I recapped my Bible study. The girls did the lions share of our work because I’m still recovering, but I was outside with them.

We took down Christmas lights. (Stop laughing) And deadheaded some plants.

We burned mini Christmas trees.

We busted up a dresser for the trash that had mildew on it.

The girls practiced cartwheels and took the dogs for a walk.

We made lunch and now we’re working on chores. This afternoon we will have one hour of quiet reading together and one hour of writing (me and Gracious) or drawing (Bea). Life is simple and uncomplicated. There are no outside distractions or places to run off to. It honestly feels peaceful, especially since I challenged myself to that month of silence last year and learned to be ok with a slower pace.

Almost 400 people died yesterday in Italy from the Coronavirus….just in Italy and only in one day. It’s serious stuff. I’m glad our government is taking it serious before we see casualties like that in America. I’m not glad for the coronavirus, but I’m thankful for the way it’s slowing our pace of life and giving us all the opportunity to really look at the urgency, priorities and time in our own lives.