This morning as I was wrapping this, Annie asked “is that for the family who lost their house in the tornado?” I confirmed it was. She said “it’s really nice that you do that kind of stuff.”

I said “thanks. Do you know what you want for Christmas?” She thought and said “there’s really nothing I want or need, so I guess surprise me.”

Two things came to mind:

1) praise the Lord we have all we could want and need

2) praise the Lord for the content hearts my girls have.

We’re not extravagantly wealthy. They don’t have name brand clothes, or the latest in technology, but they are both happy and grateful for what they have.

……Katiegrace did mention a guitar, so I’ll have to hit up the pawn shops soon.

Since about 2013, Christmas has been a big struggle for me. I struggle with all the stuff. Not the hot chocolate, Christmas movies, Christmas caroling, decorating the tree and putting out my snowmen..

Perhaps Christmas was not so hard for me before that, because we didn’t have a lot. We lived for the most part very simply, and there were often still things that we needed or wanted when Christmas came around.

Now when Christmas comes around, I have two different internal reactions. I am totally psyched to get my house looking like Christmas! I’m looking forward to playing Christmas music for the next month or so. I can’t wait to drive through the neighborhood and see the lights on everyone’s houses.

I absolutely love the candle lit Christmas Eve service at church, and I love when God gives opportunities and I have resources to brighten the holidays for families who struggle….But thinking of buying stuff for all of the people I love who have everything that they need, it causes anxiety.

Don’t get me wrong, I love giving gifts! Just not because it’s the time of year that you’re supposed to. I made my nephew a T-shirt blanket. I bought the fabric and brought the T-shirts home almost 2 years ago but then I forgot I had it.

Because I never know what to get them for Christmas, the temptation would be to say “Tada! Merry Christmas!” But that’s not a Christmas present. That is a long awaited gift that I wanted to give him, just because I love him.

When I get something for someone, I’m so excited that I want to give it to them immediately! By the time the gift giving holiday comes around, I’ve lost all of my enthusiasm and I feel like saying, here you go… Got this for you. Hope you like it.

With my enthusiasm gone, I start questioning whether they would even like it to begin with. Anyone else feel like me? Anyone else wish that Christmas had nothing to do with giving presents?